“I know what I need. I know my body. You don’t know me and what I’ve been through. It’s my life.” – anonymous
They know you’re hurting. They are too. Any comments, actions, or help they offer stems from this. It’s never really about what you think or know, it’s about what you do. The attention goes to the lies, failed promises, lies, theft, lies, volatility, and many more lies. All symptoms. Very painful and often long lasting. Sometimes permanent.
You focus on what they do. They cut you off financially (again), kicked you out (again), judge your relationships & friends, call the police on you, and don’t trust you. However, they’ve also bailed you out, put money in your commissary, covered up many of your messes, and have cried much more than you know. Much more.
People find it very difficult to let go and allow someone they love destroy their lives and die. Why should they? After all, it’s them that have to live with it when that day comes. Not you. So by any means necessary they feel compelled to “save” you.
This cycle of push & pull, awareness & guilt/shame, and connection & isolation further fuels the disease of addiction. A disease embedded so deep within the human psyche and spirit, that it gets ignored by the things already mentioned here.
Enough about the problem…
Similar to cancer, diabetes, and many other horrible diseases, this one has it’s course of action. Unlike those, this one doesn’t arouse the level of sympathy & empathy that is necessary to understand the battle you’re in. Don’t believe me? How many Go Fund Me pages have you seen for people seeking rehab? I bet you’ll find more for funerals, the families left behind, and other disease treatments.
Decide to seek a comprehensive understanding of what you are dealing with. This disease feeds on ignorance and secrecy. If you had cancer in your brain and a physician you just met tells you that he has to cut your head open today to save your life, what would you do? If another physician told you that he had to cut off your leg due to the severity of your diabetes, what would you do?
This disease is MORE deadly than those mentioned. It’s directly responsible for more loss than we admit. How many people have died as a result of lung cancer after being addicted to nicotine? How many alcoholics have died from the complications of diabetes? How many people are murdered in accidents or at the hands of an addict/alcoholic? How many babies… You get the point.
Please know that you don’t have to keep using. You can quit. Regardless of how many failed attempts or what you’ve tried, the reward in the end is worth a thousand attempts. Millions of us have been there and have claimed victory. That same million DO understand you and are here to help. We may not know you personally, but we share your story. We all have a story. Like Nike says, “just do it.” Pick a rehab, not for their spa like amenities, or because you have your cell phone, but because they have a staff that can love you until you can learn to love yourself. A program that doesn’t dismiss the 12-steps because it’s more profitable to claim cures via other means. Yes, yoga, equine therapy, acupuncture, etc., are all great, but do not ignore the proven method of an addict helping another addict. Work every step with the same commitment you used to cop the next fix. You’ve proven to be a fighter, a survivor, diligent, focused, and stubborn for a cause. Be your own cause.
For help finding the help that best suits your individual needs, please call me at 407-721-5402 or visit www.NOWMatterMore.org. I don’t represent any self help program or make any money for helping you find the right fit. My payment cannot be measured in pennies.
Good luck. Lui…aka tDD